32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
