Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
