this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm at about main and main street
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
