i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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