remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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