Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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