I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
