Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I need a burrito and a hug.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
