using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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