Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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