who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize