Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
