I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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