Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
