they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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