My room smells like vodka and shame
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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