I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
