yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
