she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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