i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize