You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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