I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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