Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
