GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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