The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
