I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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