Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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