He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
