Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
