HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize