I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
