bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
