I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
