I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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