just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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