I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
