Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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