We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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