can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
