went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
