God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
