i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize