3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
