im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize