Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
