she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When did angry sex become our thing?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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