Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
