I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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