Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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