We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dicks are not precious.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You ruined the universe
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
