I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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