Don't you send me to vm
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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