so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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