You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
