just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize