I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
