nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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