She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
