I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
