I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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