I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
